Is this education???

So, the morning started well. OD did some maths books, MB did some Cbeebies magazine stuff and EB did some writing (his own spy guide - this is a post all of its own :) and some adding and subtraction that I made up on the spot for him because he likes doing sums under pressure - strange boy.

This was a picture of home education heaven. Children - including baby - at table, engrossed in their studies, angelic looking sweet hearts. As pictured here:

For about five minutes I could be smug-home-educating-mother-of-four. But only for five minutes. Whilst my back was turned clearing up debris from the morning they turned their attentions to the new push chair box:Inside the box is OD. See the rapture and glee on EB's face when she toppled over and started to scream hysterically. Being a good mother I grabbed the camera and took a photo before helping her out - at least MB was there to offer moral support through the cardboard. I am not joking by the way, she really is in there - I just missed catching her feet sticking out with the camera. This chaos reigned for the next half an hour whilst I made lunch.

In desperation I turned to the factual channels on the TV over lunch, settling for "Deep Blue" a condensed version of the Blue Planet tv series. This surely would provide some much needed calm - all the kids are in love with the ocean. I was in the kitchen making my own lunch when I heard the first tinklings of concern.

EB: "Is that a dolphin?"
OD: "A shark."
EB: "No it's a killer whale, and what is it chasing?"
OD:" Dunno.....hang on....."
EB: "It's a baby seal - are they playing tag?"
Silence - horrified silence. During this time I have launched myself into the room and tried to find the remote control.
EB: "HE IS KILLING THE BABY SEAL!!!!" The blood has turned the water a foamy red. Lovely with a ham sandwich.
To which OD replied "Yes, that's just life".

What the hell am I educating them? Some times it feels like nothing, and now I the crazed lunatic have decided to make this a permanent arrangement. Help.

It's not even bed time.