boys - all they want to do is play

I had a very bad moment today, and, as so often happens, that bad moment is following me around like a little dark cloud.

Eb was on the BBC bytesize website this morning, playing an English game about verbs, adverbs, nouns etc. He got to the adverb question and was hopelessly stuck, so I tried to help him but he still didn't get it, and I knew he wasn't really trying or even reading the question properly, he just wanted me to do it.

I ended up speaking loudly (just shy of full on shouting) and he got more flustered. In the end he just closed the game down and looked despondent. Mb was sitting beside him doing a maths workbook, and seemingly unable to add up 2+2+2. I came hurtling to the conclusion that I cannot teach. I am a rubbish teacher.

I am not brave enough to become a full blown autonomous person, although I understand the philosophy behind it, the reality is too frightening. I insist on each of them doing some maths, handwriting and reading every day. We normally spend about an hour to two hours a day doing this.

Od made an insightful comment after today's wash out. She was the other side of the table and observing closely. She said this:

"At school, we did worksheets about verbs and stuff, but no one went out to play talking about them like we did the time our teacher passed out - that was more exciting. We just did them because we had to, because the teacher told us we had to. They were really boring, and I never understood why we needed to know them. Eb doesn't need to know about pronouns and adverbs when he's playing pirates does he?"

So there you go. Aged nine, Od has more of an insight into what her brothers need than I do as their Mother. A seven year old boy has no need to understand the finer points of literacy. When his head is buried deep in Monsterology, He is not considering the sentence structure. He is living, breathing, dreaming about Chimeras, Hydras and maybe one day capturing a Kraken.

Would I really want to take that joy away, and instead ask him to study the composition?

Of course not.

My heart knows that my children thrive and learn best when they are excited or interested in a subject. Their passions are what guide their learning and set them alight with "Whys?"

Eb may not be able to write neatly, but he can spell over twenty dinosaur names correctly. Mb may not be able to complete an addition worksheet, but he can work out how many weeks he needs to save his pocket money to get the playmobil he covets so.

My head tells me that the boys need to learn more. I should be feeding them a steady diet of facts and figures for them to ingest; so that they will be able to regurgitate them at a later date. I can't help put compare them to their schooled peers. I know that Mb would have a weekly spelling list, multiplication to learn and handwriting practice sent home. I know that Eb would be wearing a tie each day that would strangle him, and struggling to keep his brain from flying off at the tangents it so often does throughout the day.

When the two areas collide, I feel bereft and confused. Where is that happy medium? The common ground?

I can't seem to find it at the moment.

(I've added this to Jax's Bad HE Days link up!)