Today I went barmy again. This time in the woods.

For whole other reasons.
We have Spotted Treecreepers* nesting nearby and we want to see these rare and interestingly named birds. Since hearing about them we have all been a little bit fascinated. The two burning questions from the children are:

1) Where are they spotted?
2) How do they creep?

True, we are caught up in Springwatch and the live nest cams but even so, we still spend a lot of time tramping about in nature.


Here is where the problem starts.

We tramp, holler, squeal, run, roll, tumble and riot our way wherever we are. We have been prepped by a real twitcher that we will not see these shy little birds if we do any of the aforementioned. We must replace them with creep, whisper and standing still.


My kids don't do this. Firstly, EB falls in the pond. This is tradition, it is his way of greeting the leeches and freaking his sister out. This happens as soon as we get there. Then Eb and Od have a big fight over how disgusting he is, and how the pond water smells - or is that just his normal smell.....it goes on and on and on until I say enough! Let's look at the lambs bouncing about.

Then Mb falls out of a tree into Stinging Nettles. No one on the planet can out holler this boy. I mean, his screech can be heard on the moon, I am sure of it. He also has excellent staying power. He can maintain high level screaming at a level that will make your ears bleed for a remarkable length of time.

He is calmed eventually, and we progress.

But not far.

Shrek is sick of being in a buggy (don't really blame him) and he wants out. Now. He wants to test the Nettles for himself, and "love" (squish) all the bugs he can find. He wants to try throwing himself in the pond too - those leeches have a strong appeal for him too it seems.

In the end I sit all the children on a bench. I can hear the dangerous wobble in my voice that means I am either near to tears or near to yelling like a mad woman. I try taking some deep breaths and attempt a calming tone through gritted teeth.**

Me: If you don't try hard to be quiet like we talked about in the car, we will not see the special bird, and you want to see the special bird, don't you?

Them: Yes

Me: So are you going to try and be quiet and walk like hunters?

Eb, Mb and Shrek: Yes

Od: I'm a vegetarian

Me: I didn't say we are going to hunt, we are just going to walk slowly and quietly

Boys: Bor-ring

Me: Shall we just go home then?

We may have seen the Treecreeper, high up in a tree at the car park, but I can't be sure because I was too busy trying to wrestle four children back in to the car. It was Eb who started pointing and waving excitedly, but by the time I worked out what he was doing, the bird was long gone.

I shall content myself with nest cams from now on.


*If you click on the link, you may notice it takes you to a website about The Western Isles. We don't live there, but this was the best image I could find.

**For all my whining, I do really love our walks and seeing the children run free and happy, and I love that they have grown to know this particular place so well, they feel it is an extension of their garden.