I have been thinking about this recently. I have been trying to wrestle with the unthinkable.
What would happen if I die?
It's healthy apparently, to think this from time to time, to ponder your own existence.
I try to imagine not being here. How would the husband cope? Would the kids have to go back into school in order for him to keep sane and would I do the same if it were only me on my own? How would I feel about him having another partner in the future? My kids a replacement mother?
Even the thought fills me with gut churning, head ache inducing panic.
Why am I even thinking like this?
Because I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and I am totally, utterly petrified.
