Today I went back to bed

I've been taking part in 52 weeks to a Freeplaylife.

What compelled me to follow this was the first week challenge, that is to say and know what you want for yourself. Tiffani recommended starting a Pinterest board to collect your ideas together.

I did not have a clue.

Once I'd stripped the daily necessaries from my life, I couldn't actually fill the void with any thing tangible.

I had vague ideas. "Read" and "Garden" but they were a way off anything detailed. Read what? Grow what?

It hit me that I don't get the things done that I want to, because I'm not specific enough. I want to do a lot of things but although I think them, I don't do them.

So I've started each day with the question "What do I want?"

It's made a world of difference. I wanted to play with the chemistry set. I wanted to mix oil and water and try out an experiment I'd seen a while ago about re-creating and dealing with your own mini oil spill in a dish. I'd filed it away mentally so that, one day when we reached that area of chemistry I could bring out the stuff and do it.

I was waiting for the day to arrive.

I think I was waiting for the kids to wake up one day and say "I want to learn chemistry."

I had missed the point that by unless I exposed them to chemistry, chances are that they wouldn't ask to do it.

Glaringly obvious, I know.

So one day I did it, and it was fun, and interesting. When I added the washing up liquid, I watched as the oil literally ran away from it....and I pondered whether all oils would react this way. The kids were fascinated, and I had to recreate the scene over and over so each of them had the opportunity to divert a disaster (lego bricks make a great barrier) and I read a book about the history of chemistry, shouting out interesting passages to the kids as I found them. I started to think about atoms, and CERN and how life looks very different when you start to think in terms of chemicals.

Each day I've come up with something new. Obviously the morning we woke up to Snow, the answer was "play outside". Everyone in the house work up with the same idea that day.


Today I woke up, and asked my magical question, and nothing came immediately to mind. I went downstairs, made every one a warm drink, and as I cradled my coffee, listened to the bickering that was breaking out in the other room (about a red lego hand, of all things.) I decided that what I wanted to do was go back to bed....so I did.

I spent an hour in bed, with a book - the second Louisa May Allcot book "Good Wives" if you're interested....I was aware of the irony. Good Wives don't slope back to their beds do they?

I had two cups of coffee, had a couple of visits from Lb requiring snuggles, and then got up again.

My mood was calm, open and super chilled and happy. Probably because I had taken the time to do something for myself, so I was ready to oblige the needs of others.

There are days that I wake up and spend all day with a simmering resentment at having to do so much for so many small people that do not seem to appreciate my efforts. It's not a nice feeling, and my kids aren't stupid.

They know when I am doing something out of duty, and when I am doing something out of love.

The day has been a marvellous success, and I credit it all to that simple question.

"What do I want today?"

What do you want today?