lola

We've had Lola for five years now.

She used to belong to Mb, but now she is a firm favourite of Lb's.  She has been to the beach, to the park.  She has been the passenger on his tricycle and bike.

When she isn't being played with she sits at the end of his bed.  Most nights she is alone there, as Lb is not one for staying in his own bed.

He starts the night in there, after many snuggles and stories.  He has a big brother in the bunk above him, and a sister across the hall.  A night light and a soft blanket.  But always, always he will pit-pat into my bed about midnight.

I love him so it doesn't bother me, and he is a warm little soul, so as Summer gives way to Autumn, I am glad for his cosy presence.  Co-sleeping has never bothered me.  All of my children have spent some time with us, Eb the least, Lb the most.

These past few nights he hasn't been coming through, and I'm a little bit sad.  He is my youngest and I am wondering if my co-sleeping days are fading, that I am now entering a new phase as the mother of bigger kids.

Not sure how I feel about that.

It felt like the toddler years lasted so long, and now without even realising it, here I am the other side with four school age children, all more or less capable of putting their own shoes on, all able to get themselves into the car, all very able to voice their opinions and their likes and dislikes.  (Although, that last one?  Been doing that since before they were born.)

I look at Lola, sitting there at the end of the bed and realise with a pang that Mb passed her on to Lb at around five years old, which is how old Lb will be on his next birthday.  I wonder how much longer Lola will be with us, and whether I will be able to let her go...let him go.

Lola, I hope you're around for a while yet.