the mysteries of shrek

I never know where I am with this baby-come-toddler. He is number four, so you would think I have this child rearing thing understood by now. I thought I would. Then came Shrek.

He wanders the house with his toy push chair, and he HAS to have a set of keys balanced on the top of it, just like Mama.

He can speak whole sentences. No "mama" "papa" nonsense for him. He can say "there it is" and "don't do that"......He also insists on calling his Dad "Bob". His name isn't Bob, we don't know a Bob, but Shrek thinks this name suits his father, so Bob it is. (He can say Dad but he chooses Bob.)

He likes to annoy MB, who is next in line from him. He does this by going in to the fridge, licking MB's secret stash of tomatoes and putting them all back.

He would never do this to EB. He hero worships him. EB will throw himself fully clothed into the pool to get a giggle from Shrek. You don't annoy some one who is daring, crazy and outright stupid just for your entertainment.

He thinks he is a spice girl. The evidence: He says "zigaziga" alot. I would like to point out that we do not listen to the spice girls. Ever.

Just when I start to accept all this weirdness, he gets really ill and scares the living daylights out of me. He lays on the floor with a blanket and doesn't move for hours. He burns up to 40 degrees and flops about like a rag doll, he has me screaming at the doctor down the phone that if some one, some where doesn't do some thing NOW, I will be coming down to the surgery and spreading Swine Flu to every one who works there by rubbing their noses in his germs.

I am so glad to have my oddball baby back, even if it does mean cleaning a large pot of coleslaw off the kitchen floor at 6 in the morning.

Welcome back Shrek.

Cute

Not so cute